Charie's Rants

COOOOLLLLLLEEEEEEGGGGEEEEE APPPPPPSSSS……………

F. M. L.

So. As you can probably tell, this rant is about the current bane of my existence: college applications.

Not only have they taken away what little remains of my social life… they just aren’t fun in any way, shape, or form.

But the thing I hate the most is how ridiculously unbalanced the whole process is.

I get a hundred letters in the mail a day from colleges asking me to “APPLY NOW!” and other shit like that… but if you really want me to go to your school… why make me go through all the effort of applying? I’m applying to ten different schools, and not only am I tired, stressed out, and cynical… but the process has left me without an allowance for a couple of months.

Instead of “$60” being what their website says the application fee is, they should write “$60… and a bunch of stress, sleepless nights, and carpal tunnel from writing essays.”

Not only do you spend a lot of time writing out damned applications… but think about all the effort you put into getting good grades, extra curriculars, research opportunities, jobs, and community service. What has a college gone out of their way to do for YOU? Perhaps my grandpa is right when he calls our generation lazy… we don’t work hours under the sun to put food on our plates… but we do have to compete with not only the people in our country, but the world for jobs now. We need to compete simply to have the opportunity to get a job, because let’s face it: a high school diploma doesn’t get you much of anywhere lately.

The whole system is ridiculous if you ask me.

I can’t catch a break.

The worst part is that the cycle will continue… work my butt off to get into a good college, good college whips my ass into shape, work my butt off to get a bachelor’s, work my butt of to get a good job, whip myself to death to climb the corporate ladder, and yadda yadda yadda. 

The real question here is: when will it end?

Here’s hoping that the world doesn’t end in 2012. I don’t want to have gone through high school for nothing.

How does everyone else feel about this?

Guys, I think I’m taking my perfectionism a little too far lately… I’m going insane.

For those of you that don’t follow my other blog (lyricbitsandbytes), I already have mental problems: NEVER is there not a song playing in the background of my brain. So I feel like I’m constantly using 5% of my processing power.

On top of that, I’ve been working my ass off in school… and I mean more ass-working than NORMAL. It’s to the point where I’ve never worked this hard in my life, and it’s only summertime. To give you an example, in the timespan of a one-week camp I did all the work needed to win a $40,000 (merit) scholarship, along with socializing and learning crap. So I’d guestimate another 65% of processing power is spent working.

Another 5% is spent drooling like a dumbass inside my head. I’ve been hungry all the time lately, and I’m constantly aware of it. I have a fast metabolism, so I have always eaten a lot (and thankfully have never gotten a cm fatter since elementary school) , but this is starting to get out of hand. I didn’t control myself, I would be eating $5 worth of vending machine food between every class period- on top of my normally HUMONGOUS lunch.

Another 10% is helping my mom do yard work. Notice that I said “yard work” and not “gardening”… I’m constantly lifting full bags of clippings, breaking my back ten times over to weed (among thorns, mind you), and running all over the place as her gopher. Why? She wants us to finish all the yard work we haven’t done in the past seven years of living in our house in two weeks. And you thought I was crazy.

And now, added upon these skyrocketing percentages, comes another 20% (bringing us to a whacked-up total of 115%). THIS, is spent over-thinking things and getting stressed out over details. Indecision, perfectionism, regret, stubbornness, you name it- I have done it all lately. Like right now, I’m staring at my number of followers (59) and cannot stop thinking about what I can do to get one more follower to make it a nice, even, 60. And my joy once I get 60 will probably be smashed to smithereens once I get another and it becomes 61. And then the vicious cycle will start again. 

As a result of over-stimulation and sleep deprivation- you’ve got this rant/post. I’m sorry that I haven’t been putting better content up lately… it’s another regret weighing down on my mind right now. So, yeah, many apologies. (and now “Apologize” has started playing in my mind >.<)

My brain is exploding. Keep the news on and watch out for the headline: “Newest case of spontaneous combustion: teenage girl.”

(Source: batterypowered-assault)

noviewistrue asked: hai there!(: you don’t know me, but i started a movement called operation heartbeat that is basically my attempt at combating the sadness/depression, as well as anon hate on tumblr. so i just wanted to write you a quick message thanking you for sharing your thoughts and interests with so many people. you’re an amazing individual and tumblr wouldn’t be the same without you! <3

Well, thank you very much! But the real do-gooder here is definitely you! :]

I wish you the best of luck with your movement! It sounds really cool!